I’m Out ‘chere in These Streeeeets

I realized this summer that I’ve lived in Chicago for 9 years! And this Summer has been the first time I’ve actively & consistently been dating as a queer, non-binary, kinky, solo-polyamorous person.

I’ve worked at practices that were specifically geared towards supporting folx who identify similarly as I. I’ve taken trainings, read so many books, and supported both friends & clients in living their Best pleasure-focused, sex-positive, kink-affirming, & gender-affirming Lives.

I love supporting folx in living into their Authenticity & Fullness.

I gravitate towards those that are the most marginalized of any group I’ve been a part.

And yet, I’ve hidden from my own exploration even though I share these identities! I’ve been sitting on the sidelines—nervous that clients (current or former) would see me Free and learn something that I’m not trying to Teach. I’ve felt uncomfortable at the prospect that dating or play partners would somehow be inter-connected with my professional life in a way I just couldn’t predict. Queer communities sometimes have a way of being small…

Basically, I’ve been trying to control how Pleasure finds me.

But, I’m fed up with it! I’m tired of limiting myself from taking the risks I want to take and exploring how to be as ethically slutty as I’m interested in being.

For the past 9 years I’ve been at Home, mostly—healing. I’ve had so freaking much to heal.

Thankfully, Now, I love & trust myself. So it’s Time & I’m out ‘chere!

It’s exhilarating! And it’s activating.

I am having the most consistent fun I’ve had in about a decade. I’m so aware of how far I’ve come on my healing journey, and I’m getting triggered in unexpected ways just as any human would when there’s sometimes too much stimuli & some new people remind my nervous system of folx I’m very comfortable not being reminded of…

Mostly it’s humbling. I feel like I’m finally Living & I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s pretty great & it’s pretty strange.

Now, if y’all see me out ‘chere, enjoy the sight from a distance, let me know how it felt for you when we see each other next & let’s make a plan of how to move forward that works for us both. I’m gonna take my time blending these worlds though—it’s all so New! So if I’m awkward about it, please don’t take it personally—it’s a me thing, it’s not about you.

With this week’s Virgo New Moon, there’s a fresh wind of new Energy coming through even in the midst of the utter chaos & entropy that continues to abound in our world.

Virgo Season is all about Harvest Time. There’s something you’ve been thinking about & wanting to do for a long-ass time. The Time is Now. You’re not going to be perfect at it, but you will be Human at it.

What are you ready to Explore this Season?

Until the next time we share time & space,

Ayda